how do i advertise myself for a job?
how to say nice things about urself when ur feeling shitty-
k nt as bad as tt - but
like-
if they want driven, success focus, results oriented person-
n i am not ambitious- quite slack- process orietned -
does it mean i shouldnt apply?

i mean - its nt tt i totally dun feel good abt myself-
tho the past few months does contribute 2wards
feeling shitty-
but what ive been proud of/worked towards
for most of my life until maybe 2,3 yrs ago
cant be said 2 b a "marketable skill" in the workforce.
- employ me please, im a nice guy with loyalty 2 the organisation
and high integrity"
Im not spouting sarcasm agst what is valuable-
being industrious, driven, etc. is defn good.
but what am i sposed 2 do here-
if im NOT somthing?
like how career guides teach u 2 extrapolate how u
spent ur student days into credible corporate skills-
e.g. u budget ur allowance well - budgeting/financial controll etc.
- u worked part-time while studyibg - good mutli-tasking

course, if ure hardworking/meticulous industrious etc. these
are equally valuable.
but i know i don't have self-discipline, Im lazy,
i control my finances poorly, and ive learnt that im not as smart
as i would like to think.

can i market myself purely based on potential?
no time for regret that for years, i sincerely believed
the most important thing was cultivating ones character-
e.g. be a good boy - honest blah blah blah-
perhaps it was just a cover for a slacker
im not bitter about it becos it was my choice- altho i might
sound so-

Im js trying 2 figure out what do i do - how should i sell myself?
thing is- im not one of those super performers-
we noe those ppl and most of us arent them. straight As, president of XYZ
club.
Im no slouch- have always had above average acad results,
a relatively sensible head, been fairly much involved in ECA.
but when i think back 2 NS, ECA, what stands out most to me
are the failures - which seems 2 define what i am.
I noe that doesnt define the ME. but it does say that i defn lack self-discipline.
WILL POWER.
I dun have success stories 2 put in a resume, i think... or maybe...
hmm...
learning experiences...
what can i be proud of achievement wise?
i am proude that i joined the MC. as purely a personal challenge- but
i failed miserably at my primary portfolio... cant shake that out of my mind.
I definitely learnt a grew a great deal- it seems strange to me that
something like that can both Grow my self confidence so much yet
make it so much more fragile at the same time.

Being proud of something might not be relevant all the time-
while i wasnt proud of what i did during the previous rag-
i noe then that i knew things that were of value. I knew
what to do and performed above and beyond my role.
I wasn't proude of it - but i did my work well.
Other times that i did my work well would be for those
advertisements for ISIS...
how are these relevant to say... Fujitsu MT position?
small team leadership?
loyalty 2 organisation?
hmm id buy tt...
commitment to task exellence (woaho tts a gd one- almost cliche)

there jus feels there can be so little that i can use as
an "Accolade"
how true is what Honda-Tohru from Fruits basket says?
she says:
people are like Onigiri (japanese rice packed into a triangle shape-
meant for convenient consumption as snack or takeaway lunch)
in how we easily identify the good points of those around us,
but cant see our own - we onigiri think of ourselves as simply
plain rice- noth special. but sometimes onigiri comes with something
special - like an umeboshi(perserved plum) pressed onto one side.
So, we onigiri fail to see that special thing pressed to our back- but
we easily see all the other onigiri and their ornaments...

heh crapped enuff 4 nw... do su ru...?